Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up
by elejamie
Summary: When zombies invade Peach Creek, it's up to Ed, Edd and Eddy to fight them, as well as get to the candy store. Will they succeed? Read and review to find out. Rated M for language, violence, etc... Completed, eventually.
1. Chapter 1: Before the invasion

-1Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Chapter 1: Before the invasion.

A/N: Here's my first M-rated story that's actually a comedy. Basically, as you can tell by the first four words "Dawn of the Dead", it's about zombies. However, the last four words, "from the Neck Up" refer to Ed's stupidity, Eddy's semi-stupidity, and Edd's rarely stupidity. In fact, you can say it's a zomcom. Anyways, the Eds try to stop the zombies, and get some jawbreakers along the way. Can they succeed? Let's hope so.

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October 30th: 6:59pm. 24 hours and one minute before the invasion.

Everyone as preparing for Halloween the next day. They were deciding who to go as what, and what decorations to put up. Little do they know what's happening the next day….

Ed, Edd and Eddy were at the costume shop, choosing their costumes. Or, at least Ed and Eddy were. Edd, who decided to opt out for the year, decided to come along, to make sure they don't get into trouble. And also, to prevent what happened last time, they locked up all of Ed's horror films. They then exited the shop. "So, what did you get?" Edd was curious, as if he was a parent-figure.

"I got a Bill… Cowell?" Ed had difficulty with saying the lead singer of Tokio hotel's surname

"Kaulitz." Edd corrected Ed.

"Thanks." Ed said. "Anyway, I got a costume of him. What about you, Eddy?"

"All I got there was a treat bag." Eddy looked inside his carrier bag. "I'm going as zombie Elvis again."

"As you have been for the past two years?" Edd sighed.

"Hey! I'll go as something else next year." Eddy started to raise his voice as he pointed at Edd.

"You've been saying that for the past two years." Edd retorted.

Eddy couldn't come up with a counter-argument. So, pissed off as he was, he muttered "Shut up." whilst crossing his arms. "If anything, why aren't you doing Halloween this year?"

"I just don't feel like doing it this year. I'm still trying to forget about last year." Edd explained.

"Yeah. And afterwards, we beat Ed up, even though it was his fault." Eddy grumbled. "Stupid goof."

"I think we should be going back now." Edd checked his watch. Everybody agreed with the genius, and went home to prepare for the next day.

October 31st: 7:00am. 12 hours before the invasion.

The sun was shining behind some clouds on a quite tepid October morn, and the Eds were getting ready in their own different ways:

Ed was sleeping in, waiting until the last minute to rush for the bus. This happened so many times in the last month, that they're planning to get him an alarm clock. They might wait until his birthday, which was a couple of months away. But, if Ed's late for the rest of the week, they might as well suspend him for the rest of the year.

Edd was up bright and early. He was brushing his teeth with some new toothpaste his mother bought him. He was changed into his traditional clothes, and decided to walk to school early. After his teeth were clean, he grabbed his bag, and got what he needed to for the day. He opened the door, and stepped out of his house.

Eddy, on the other hand, was still half-asleep. He yawned, and got out of bed. He had a shower, then made some breakfast: two slices of toast (one undercooked, the other overcooked) and a carton of orange juice which was two days past it's best before. He gulped down the drink, before starting on the toast. "Goes down like a nice cup of warm puke" he moaned. And, like Edd, he stepped out of his house. But, being neat and tidy like Edd, his shirt was inside out, and his trousers were on his head.

But, in his somnambulistic state, he crashed into Ed's house, where he fell into Ed's room's window, which suddenly grew in size. He ended up falling into the chair, where, once he got out, his clothes were on normally. And he didn't feel so tired. "Wake up, Ed!" He slapped Ed on the head.

Ed mumbled before getting up. "Hiya Eddy!" He climbed out of bed, got changed, and the two set off for school, which they both hated… in a way…

October 31st:12pm. 7 hours until the invasion

The lunch bell rang. So the Eds went to the cafeteria to enjoy their meals. Edd made his own: A cheese sandwich, no crusts, cut diagonally, and a bottle of water. Whilst Ed and Eddy were tallying up how much they had, so they can buy some grub. For a change, Eddy had enough money, but unfortunately for Ed, he only had a button and a mint to his name.

"At least the mint's edible" Ed proclaimed, not noticing it was full of lint, fluff, and other unmentionables found in Ed's pocket. He then put it in his mouth, whilst rummaging for hairs.

Eddy sat down next his best mate, carrying a tray. It was empty, sadly. But he decided to eat it, anyway. He took a huge bite out of it, before spitting it out. "I should've paid more attention in ecology class." He whined. "How was I supposed to know that wood doesn't taste good."

Ed snickered. "Wood." He sighed.

"What's so funny?" Eddy was starting to grow angry.

"Nothing, Eddy!" He yelped, before bolting it. In fact, he made a hole through the wall, and broke through the principal's office. He was relaxing in his chair after he finished some paperwork. When Ed rushed out, he picked up his phone and dialled a number. "Hello? I might need to you fix a hole in my wall?" It was obvious that he was calling a repairman, and it was more obvious that the principal is Danny, but in human form. "It's human-sized."

In the hallway, Kevin was walking down the hallway with Nazz and Rolf. They were discussing about day-to-day stuff, and what happened last night, all that crap. However, out of presumably nowhere, Ed ran over Kevin, before he tripped over a lace, and crashed through the floor. He passed the Kankers before ending up in China. "Woah, dude." He gazed around the area, before someone jumped on him, and caused him hurtling back into Peach Creek.

"Rolf must take more of his aspirins." The son of a shepherd made a note to self.

October 31st: 3pm. 4 hours until the invasion.

The home time bell rang. Everyone rushed out of the doors, but when Ed and Rolf tried to get out at the same time, they both got wedged in them. "Smart-as-peanuts Ed boy." Rolf began. "Will you kindly move your posterior So Rolf can go?"

"Peanuts are smart?" Ed wondered.

"Ed, try and get the fuck out." Eddy crossed his arms as he was preparing to kick his yellow friend out. He eventually did kick someone in the arse. Unfortunately, it was Rolf. He shrieked as he fell face first into the woods nearby. But at least Ed wasn't trapped.

"I'll go home and prepare the cupcakes of sorriness." Edd dashed home. As he said 'cupcake', Ed and Eddy started to drool, and the genius skidded to a halt. "You're not getting any." The drooling faces changed into frowns.

"You bastard." Eddy whinged.

"Swearing won't get you anywhere, Eddy." Edd scolded Eddy.

Edd ran home to do his job, which was to bake the cupcakes of sorriness on behalf of Eddy. Ed and Eddy went home to prepare for the evening. "I like my Simon Cowell costume" Ed instantly forgotten the name of the Tokio Hotel lead singer. Again.

"Yeah…" Eddy began, but was abruptly ended by Rolf returning and punching Eddy in the groin. Ouch!

"The cucpcakes of sorriness must be made!" Rolf beckoned.

"Double D's making them." Eddy wheezed, whilst grabbing himself. After Rolf left the scene, Eddy checked something. "Let's see. One, two." He was checking to see if his testes were still there "Yup, they're both here. Ed?"

"Yes, Eddy?" Ed wanted to know what his small friend wanted.

"Remind me to whack Rolf in the balls with a golf club." Eddy was no longer wheezing, but he still was in pain. He waddled off home. Ed shrugged and mimicked Eddy, except he went back to his house. It was a bit like a 'Walk This Way' bit.

October 31st: 4:30pm. 3 and a half hours until the invasion.

Edd had finished baking the cupcakes of sorriness. After they had cooled down, he put them on a tray, and disguised them as something disgusting, namely broccoli and Brussels sprout flavoured crisps. This kept his dim friends away. He rang Rolf's doorbell and presented them. "These are for you, Rolf."

"Rolf doesn't acknowledge the meaning of this word." He pointed to a specific word.

"What, crisps?" Edd was confused, but he shook it off. "That was a front to prevent Ed and Eddy eating them."

"Oh-ho!" The blue-haired foreigner got it. "The midget-Ed boy, and the yellow-as-squash Ed boy made some too." Rolf grabbed the tray. "But thanks, though." He slammed the door on Edd's face.

"It isn't nice to call short people 'midgets'!" The hatted genius yelled before storming off in a huff.

Inside, Rolf was preparing for some late night harvesting. "Buckets." He pointed his pen at some buckets. "Check." He then pointed his pen at a lantern. "Light source. Check."

Suddenly, he spotted Wilfred squealing. He went outside, to see more of his animals gone berserk. All because Ed was trying to chicken-nap some hens. "Hiya, Rolf! He waved before legging it.

"You shall fear my wrath, Ed boy!" Rolf screeched.

"Not again!" Edd might've been off screen, but that didn't prevent him from being inaudible. He didn't want to make any more cupcakes of sorriness.

October 31st: 6pm. One hour until the invasion

Ed and Eddy were nearly ready. They had just gotten their costumes on, and were nearly ready to hit the town. "Ed, get ready for the biggest amounts of candy you've ever seen!"

"Spook-E-Ville again, Eddy?" Edd opened the door, having eavesdropped on everything.

"Nah, I'm no longer trusting my brother." Eddy replied.

"You're doing it normally."

"Yeah."

"Wait a minute." Ed actually thought. "I thought you weren't trick or treating, Double D."

"I might come along to make sure you don't get into any trouble." Edd instantly became the overprotective parent everybody hates.

"Fine. But you're not getting any candy."

"Can we just get on with the plot?" Ed was starting to get bored. Very OOC for him, but still…

"Alright." Danny boomed, before he zapped Ed.

Little do they know, zombies were upon them.

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A/N: Not much of a start, I know. And Halloween's only 28 days away (not a reference to 28 Days Later). Also, Ed breaking the fourth wall will be the only time a character wanted to get on with the plot in my stories.

To those who don't know what "crisps" are, they're just what we Limeys call "potato chips". To us, "chips" are "fries". Quite confusing, I know. But you'll get used to it.

I apologise to any short people if they read the word "midget" in this story. I wasn't mocking anyone.

Now that's everything cleared up, I'll start writing the second chapter. After, of course, you read and review. Seriously, I don't want to wait forever before I can continue with this.


	2. Chapter 2: The Zombie Uprising

-1Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Chapter 2: The Zombie Uprising.

A/N: This has to be one of my greatest achievements. In the short time it's been on , it's been favourited twice, one person getting alerts to know a chapter is up, and it's been reviewed. So, yeah, I know what you're probably thinking: "win". And, even though Ed is going dressed as Bill Kaulitz (the Tokio Hotel lead singer), I am not a fan of said band. I've never listen to any of their songs. This was because a friend on Habbo is a fan.

So anyways, back on with the story. The zombies are rising from the dead, just as Ed and Eddy were trick or treating, and Edd was going to make sure they won't get into any trouble. They best not annoy Rolf anymore, Edd's not baking any more cupcakes of sorriness. Now, back we go!

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In the cemetery, a zombie's hand sticks out from beneath the ground. The gravedigger, just noticing this, grabs his shovel and whacks the hand down. But, when the hand appears, it flips him off. The gravedigger then used the shovel to cut off the hand, but it started to crawl around. He then ran away, leaving the gates open by mistake. The zombies then rose from their graves.

They lurched outside of the cemetery, with a few trying to get into a car. It was a bit like a 'How do I shot web?' situation, because a few of the cars were unlocked. One zombie tried to run through one, but he ended up making a huge gaping hole in it. "Damn it!" He moaned.

"Never mind, we've got some brains to eat." A fellow zombie reassured.

"Thanks." The two then headed towards the cul-de-sac, followed by their zombie brethren.

Meanwhile, Jimmy and Sarah were out trick or treating. Jimmy was dressed as a bunny, and Sarah was dressed in the same clothes she wore in Eds-Aggerate. "I hope I get tons of candy this year, Sarah!" The pale wimp told his friend.

"Me too, Jimmy." Sarah said.

"Look Sarah, there's a person who's spent ages with their costume." Jimmy pointed out a zombie.

"I see it. It's really authentic." They both rushed up to the zombie. "Mister?" The zombie groaned. "Well done for such a cool costume."

"Brains." He growled. "Feed me brains!"

"Sarah, I've got the feeling he's not in costume." Jimmy was in his trademark panicking state. He was lift up by the zombie who was about to eat his brain.

"LET GO OF MY FRIEND!" Sarah rugby tackled the zombie, and Jimmy fell to the ground, landing on his bum. Amazingly, he wasn't injured, considering he's weaker than Mr. Burns. She then tore out part of the zombie's organs until he died. He then rose again.

"I'm not dead yet!" He yelled. Sarah then tore off his head. "OK, now I am." He then died. For real. The zombie then set alight, then disappeared. Just like a dead zombie in that Divine Intervention game.

"We need to alert the others!" Jimmy and Sarah told each other in unison. And so, they alerted the others about the zombies.

But Rolf already new. As the son of the shepherd was planning some late night mushroom harvesting, he heard his animals go berserk. They still were. "Why must you annoy Rolf?" He scolded his pets, before he noticed something. He grabbed his animals, and some supplies, before heading down into the emergency cupboard just beside the house.

Then two zombies burst in. They grabbed a few animals before leaving. "THE SON OF A SHEPHERD WON'T LET WILFRED, GERTRUDE AND COMPANY BE TAKEN!" He yelled before reaching a cane.

"Oh, shit." A zombie moaned.

Rolf whacked the animals out of their hands, and they all landed back with the other animals. "Let's get it on." Rolf was signalling a challenge.

The grabbed one of the zombies with his cane, and pummelled him. He then grabbed the other zombie, and caused it to fly through the air, and it landed on its accomplice. Rolf then wore his hat of punishment, then used the hammer bit to whack both zombies repeatedly. They then faced the same fate as the other zombie, but one zombie's hand stayed there. It flew and gave Rolf a black eye before disappearing.

"Go back to Hades!" He shrieked. He had to look after his animals, in case zombies attack again.

Ed, Edd and Eddy then noticed some people were in a state of extreme panic. Then, it was their worst nightmare. Zombie Kankers. "Hey, look, Lee." Marie said flatly. "It's our boyfriends. Let's turn them into zombies."

The Kankers then advanced on them, but Edd managed to escape. "Give me a few minutes." He was up to something, but what.

"HURRY!" Eddy was trying his best to fend off the Kankers. Then Edd reappeared carrying a box. "What the fuck are you doing with a box?"

"This." He pressed a button, and it became an instant chainsaw. "This is what you get for raping me." He became murderous, the result of anger, and bottling them up.

He then cut the Kankers into several pieces, until there was nothing left of them. He gasped repeatedly, before returning to normal. "Sorry, didn't know what came over me."

Ed and Eddy looked at him in shock. "I just hope we don't get on his bad side." Eddy proclaimed.

"Me too, Eddy…" Ed looked at his short mate.

"I think we might have a lot more in store."

"Yup."

"Say, Double D!" Eddy called Edd.

"Yes, Eddy?" Edd replied.

"Shall we check to see if there's any more?"

"Hope not." Edd grimaced. "Blood doesn't come out of clothes."

And there were more. There were famous zombies everywhere, from Michael Jackson to Napoleon. In fact, Zombie Jacko started to do the Thriller dance, with other zombies, until he was cut to pieces, along with his backup dancers, by Edd.

"Hey! I liked him!" Eddy complained.

"Yeah, but I went off him." Edd explained. "Especially because of the overreaction of the fans and the media!"

"At least he's molesting kids in Heaven." Ed didn't know how offensive that was.

"Ed, hate Michael Jackson, and I'll have to cut your dick off." Eddy threatened.

An eerie silence passed before Ed said something stupid: "Michael Jackson sucks."

Eddy then whacked Ed repeatedly, screaming "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" at him. But then, Edd tapped him on the shoulder. The hatted genius was covered in even more blood than earlier. "What?"

"I killed another one." Edd became addicted to killing zombies.

"Ees zees ze end of Zom-bay Napoleon?" Napoleon was dying on the cul-de-sac. Then Edd impaled him on the chainsaw.

"Yes it is." He was using the type of wit we Brits are known for.

Ed and Eddy, as they were earlier, were in a state of shock. "Double D, we really need to get you to a psychiatrist." Eddy was growing concerned.

"Maybe tomorrow. If there are any survivors." Edd told his allies. "Maybe tomorrow."

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A/N: I apologise if Edd was out of character in this chapter. But he'll be like this until the end of the story. Anyways, expect more blood in later chapters, including a fight against a few zombie Nazis.

Also, I'm starting to hate Michael Jackson now, mainly due to the overreaction. He's dead, we know. Get over it. OK, even I mourned. But still, don't go over the top. It annoys others. Especially me. I didn't watch the funeral. It seemed like it stood on the line between outrageous and A-waste-of-money-due-to-the-economic-crisis-back-then.

So, even if you are offended by this, here's something for you: just take a fucking chill pill. Oh, and to those who couldn't care less: read and review.


	3. Chapter 3: WE NEED MOAR SUPPLIES!

-1Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Chapter 3: WE NEED MOAR SUPPLIES!

A/N: Sorry for the use of chat-speak in the title. But this is what Eddy says. It's done like a lolcat, which Ed and Eddy will do on a future Ed and Eddy do.

So, Ed, Edd and Eddy are fighting zombies. And, sadly, Edd has developed a killing obsession, as seen when he cut the Kankers into pieces, then killed zombie Napoleon. Here, they encounter some survivors, and obviously kill more zombies. Now, on we get!

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Edd was out of breath, and was trying to follow his companions. "Luckily I'm not attacking you!" He pleaded.

They then stopped. They decided to enter a weapons store. It was closed, but luckily, there was another one across town, where most survivors are looting. So Ed, Edd and Eddy, by being the only ones there, were in no rush to get weapons. So, it's a win. And a big one at that.

Another win came in the form of Ed's strength. He was so tough, he walked through the door, and it smashed. He was a little bit stronger than he was last year. Whilst Edd was with his chainsaw, Ed and Eddy were sorting everything out. Ed was in charge of melee weapons. But Eddy, who's uncle is a member of the NRA, was looking at some guns. "Which ones, which ones?" Eddy was mulling over the choices.

"Just pick whatever!" Edd was growing slightly impatient. He really needs to sort the killing addiction out.

Eddy then grabbed what he could, and some bullets, before leaving the store. He loaded all the clips into the correct weapons, then turned all of the safeties off. "You can never be too sure!" He flipped his Elvis quiff back. Unfortunately, he was having an armed gun in his hand, and accidentally hit the trigger. The bullet hit a stop sign, and the sign collapsed onto a zombie. It later died, and went out the same way as it's comrades. "Two points!" Ed yelled moronically.

"Which film is it?" Edd was being sceptic.

"'1000 Genius and Probably Stupid Ways to Kill a Zombie: Part 2', Double D" Ed replied.

"That'd explain it." Edd mumbled.

"That was 'Way 654' from the same video." Ed explained.

"Can we go on now?" Eddy was impatient. "We've got a fuckload of fucking zombies to fucking kill!"

The Eds did an action pose, á la Charlie's Angels. Ed was holding a metal pole, yet he was using it like a staff; Edd was wielding his chainsaw like Jason; and Eddy was pointing his pistol into the air. They then took a stroll. Then, they encountered a zombie. It looked a bit like Benjamin Franklin. "Brains-eth…" He moaned. "Brains-eth…"

Edd went berserk, even more than earlier, and cut off the zombie's head, then cutting that into halves, and doing stuff that was so gruesome, even Stephen King would vomit up his guts. After 15 minutes, Edd stopped. "If we Brits had the Dutch on our side, we would've won!" He complained.

"Yeah, but they would be stoned all the time…" Eddy retorted.

Edd stuttered, before coming up with "Shut up, Eddy."

"Oh, look." Eddy mocked the genius, unaware that he could be killed. "Mr. Einstein couldn't come up with a good reply." Edd paced closer. "Is he gonna kill me with his big, bad box?"

"YES!!!!" Edd became bloodthirsty. He wanted to slice Eddy like a pizza.

"Ok, OK. Take a fucking chill pill." Eddy tried his best to calm Edd down.

"I'm sorry, Eddy." Edd tried to forget what happened.

"Ya better be." Eddy brushed off sweat. "Jesus."

The Eds carried on strolling, until they came to the lane. They saw the rest of the kids, barring Rolf. Sarah and Jimmy were both wearing mock-army helmets and hiding behind a few sandbags they made, using their dollies and other toys as weapons. Jonny was dressed like Captain Melonhead, his alter ego, and standing in the middle, holding Splinter, the Wonder Wood (Plank's superhero identity). Kevin and Nazz were hiding behind the other sandbags, and only Kevin was holding a weapon: an air rifle.

"Who goes there?" Kevin beckoned. "Friend or foe?"

"Friend." Ed stated, and walked through without any problems.

Eddy walked to Kevin, but, before the question was asked, the short one punched the jock in the stomach. Kevin collapsed to the ground, and Eddy walked on by. "Friend or foe?" Kevin grumbled, because of the pain in his chest.

"Friend." Edd almost walked through, but Kevin stopped him.

"Oh yeah, Double Dork. You're really a zombie because of the blood on your weapon." Kevin felt smug as he denied Edd access.

Edd boiled with rage until he snapped. "NOW LISTEN THE FUCK HERE!" He screamed at the jock. "I'M NOT A FUCKING ZOMBIE! THIS FUCKING CHAINSAW HAS FUCKING ZOMBIE BLOOD! AND IT'LL BE YOUR FUCKING BLOOD NEXT IF YOU DON'T FUCKING LET ME THE FUCK THROUGH!!!!!!" He hyperventilated as Kevin stood there in shock.

"OK, you're friend. Go right through." Kevin collapsed.

"Way to go Double D!" Eddy high-fived Edd.

"Thanks… I guess." Edd tried to piece together what happened

As they got to the candy store, they were blocked. By zombies. But, this time, it was the zombies of dead Bloods and Crips, shooting each other. It's equal, as both sides have experienced 5 members dying.

Edd regularly checked his watch before he went in and massacred the lot. Meaning that Edd's kill total was 50: Zombie Kankers, Zombie Michael Jackson (with back up dancers), Zombie Napoleon, Zombie Ben Franklin, and 38 Blood and Crips. "You REALLY have a problem, don't you Double D?" Eddy was starting to get paranoid.

"Sorry, Eddy." Edd feared what would happen if this escalated. They both entered the candy store, when they saw a familiar site: Gary.

"Hey, Eds." The former agent ran out to greet them, yet at the same time he was shooting zombies. "Come in, I can explain the zombies."

The Eds, and Gary, walked into the storage room. On one of the tables was a map, showing where the source of the zombies' power was coming from. The boxes full of jawbreakers were converted into makeshift stools. The four then sat on the boxes. "The reason why the zombies are here is because they were resurrected." Gary explained as he unfurled a map onto the table. "The zombies' powers come from here." He pointed to a specific location on the map.

"A field outside of town." Eddy looked at where Gary's finger was. "REAL creative!" There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"All you have to do is to disable their powers." Gary took his finger off the map. "Without them, they start to die."

"Saves Double D here from butchering them." Eddy mumbled.

"Careful, Eddy. He'll cut you up!" Ed joked.

"Careful, Ed. He will." Eddy became serious.

"I'll shut up now." Ed stopped speaking.

"Now getting there's the easy part," Gary concluded. "But defeating the monster, and finding the antidote is virtually impossible."

"Monster?" Edd was intrigued.

"Yes, Double D." Gary crossed his arms. "Monster."

Suddenly, a zombie broke through the locked door and groaned. "I've got this…" Edd got up, grabbing his chainsaw. He then made the zombie move back, before slicing it up into pieces, followed by other zombies. Ed, Eddy and Gary remained in the stock room.

"Your friend really has problems, doesn't he." Gary was trying to think of what's going on.

"We know…" Ed and Eddy replied in unison.

After 5 minutes, Edd emerged, covered in even more blood. Some was on his shirt, and his face was half-covered with the red stuff. "Back!"

"Shall we go now?" Eddy wanted his friend to stop his killing addiction once and for all.

Ed, Edd and Eddy left the stock room, stepping over the blood of the zombies. Edd had killed 10 of them, including the one that burst through the door. Meaning that the zombie death toll, according to Edd, was 60. The trio walked out, followed by Gary. The former agent remained in the doorway, and shot at the zombies.

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A/N: There's good news and bad news. The bad news is that Nazis and the K-word will appear in the next chapter. The good news? Edd uses the K-word (in previous fanfics, I've stated that he's Jewish, so he's allowed to use it), and the Nazis are killed. Not only that, but Ed gets his first kill. Eddy killed a zombie by accident early on in the chapter, and Edd's killed about 60.

So, if you want to see an end to this story, and it not being on hiatus forever, then read and review. OK?


	4. Chapter 4: I'm not just a

Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Chapter 4: I'm not just a…

A/N: Finally! Took you guys forever. Here's the fourth chapter of DotDftNU. If you're wondering who Gary is, then check my profile. He's an OC I created. And yes, there will be zombie Nazis in this episode. And they will die. And the Eds will survive. I decided not to make the Nazis too offensive, so I just decided that only the K word (Not K*ke, but K***t) would be used. Sorry if I offend any Germans.

Unless someone actually pulls it off, this is the closest you can get to a version of Madness (the famous cartoons of those guys killing people). And also, if anyone here has a Newgrounds account, do you think you can make an Ed, Edd n Eddy version of Madness? And if you do, please let me know, so I can watch it.

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Ed, Edd and Eddy were strolling across the outskirts of the town, each with their respective weapons in their hands. They were aiming to stop this madness, once and for all. Then, suddenly, a zombie appeared. "I'll handle this!" Ed bravely grabbed a hammer and hit a zombie on its head. Then, suddenly, the hammer shattered into wooden and metal pieces.

"BRAINS!" The zombie yelled whilst rubbing its head.

"That's not how you kill a zombie, Ed!" Edd got his chainsaw ready. He then started to decapitate the zombie before stopping halfway. He then twisted the chainsaw to a 90-degree angle before cutting its head off. Like always, he got covered in blood, but so did Ed and Eddy. "THAT'S how you kill a zombie!" The zombie then set alight before disappearing.

"Cool." Ed stared at the ground where there was once a zombie corpse.

"Careful!" Eddy complained. "As you said a couple of chapters ago, blood doesn't come out!" Edd gave his short friend the evil eye before Eddy retracted his statement. "Sorry." Edd stopped looking at Eddy, then carried on walking.

Meanwhile, back in the cul-de-sac, the kids, especially Kevin, were trying to get over Edd shouting at the jock. "Woah, dude!" Kevin was shell shocked. "Double Dork needs to take a chill pill"

"Couldn't you have shot him?" Nazz reminded.

"I panicked, OK?" Kevin explained.

"Best not infuriate him any more." Jimmy was trying to be on the safe side. All the kids (except Kevin) agreed.

"Just because that dork yelled at me doesn't mean I won't give him a wedgie later." Kevin couldn't care less.

"Unless you want a cocktail sausage for a dick." Jonny prodded the jock with Plank.

"Shut up." Kevin gave the weirdo a black eye, making a huge hole in the melon.

Using Plank, Jonny whacked Kevin in the testes, causing the jock to collapse to the ground, gasping for air. But it didn't stop there. Jonny then whacked Kevin so much that Plank started to crack. Then he stopped. Kevin had a mild concussion, smashed testicles and two cracked ribs. Everyone stopped and stared at the injured body. "His fault." Jonny said in defence.

"When those zombies come, we'll be sacrificing you!" Sarah screamed at Jonny.

"AFTER I get Plank repaired… somehow…" The weirdo mused.

Back with the Eds now, and Edd was covered in so much blood, that it started to drip off of him. Whilst where were with the kids, he had killed two more. That makes the zombie death toll 63. Then, there was three men standing in the way. Something didn't feel right about them. Then Edd finally knew them. They were Nazis.

"Himmler!" Edd looked at Heinrich Himmler. "Rommel!" The genius then looked at Erwin Rommel. But when he looked at the last person, his mind went blank.

"Harris?" Ed guessed that it was Ronan Harris, lead singer of VNV Nation.

"Harris?" The last person spat. "I'm Ian Stuart Donaldson!"

"Ach du liebe!" Rommel facepalmed. "Who ze fook invited zer Limey?"

"I dunno." Himmler replied. "He just kehm up, ja?"

"Look, I don't care how you Krauts did the Holocaust, I just want some fucking brains!" Ian scolded.

"Ooh, look at Herr. I-decided-to-become-a-Nazi!" Rommel taunted. "You vere born after der Second Vorld Var. Your band became Nazi after der debut album. Ve know, der Fuhrer told us."

"Adolf told ya?" Ian placed his hands on his hips.

"Ja!" Himmler said. "But zer faster ve keel these American scum…"

"I'm British!" Edd corrected.

"Let me start again. Zer faster ve kill zese ALLIED scum, der faster ve hail victory, ja?"

"OK." Rommel and Ian moaned.

"Dibs on Ian!" Edd raised his hand.

"Dibs on…" Ed then moaned because his choice was already taken.

"Alright," Eddy got out his AK47 and started to load in a clip. "Let's get ready."

Ed then beat Himmler to a semi-bloody pulp with his metal pole (no puns intended). He then impaled the pole through the zombie Nazis chest before it died. "Eins!" The yellow idiot was pleased with his first kill.

Edd, with his trusty chainsaw, hacked Ian into 7 pieces: head; neck; left arm; right arm; left leg; right leg; and rest of body. He then re-arranged the body parts, then took a photo with a camera that appeared from Hammerspace. The phot shows that the right hand was on the left, and vice versa. It also showed the same for the legs, and the back of the head faced the front. Then, after the body spontaneously combusts, Edd carried on where Ed left off: "Zwei!"

Eddy shot Rommel repeatedly, with a few bullets hitting the genital area. "Gott im Himmel." Rommel moaned, clutching his balls before collapsing. "You bastard!"

Eddy then put away his AK47, then got out a .45 revolver. He placed the gun on the back of the zombie Nazi's head. "I'm not just a bastard..." Eddy did an action movie one-liner before pulling the trigger. "I'm a wanker." Eddy concluded what his comrades said before him. "Die." He put his weapon away before walking off. Ed and Edd soon followed.

"I got a kill! I got a kill!" Ed was full of joy as he skipped merrily. It was when Eddy pistol-whipped the yellow idiot that he stopped.

"I wonder what the zombie death toll is now…" Eddy was curious.

"Probably about 100 in the city alone." Edd estimated. They didn't matter, just as long as there were no more zombies left…

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A/N: There we go. Not much of a chapter. If you're wondering how I found out about ISD (Ian Stuart Donaldson), then thank the hours of pointless Wikipedia searching I've done.

So, next chapter will mostly be based around the kids as the try to get Kevin to a hospital. They'll end up killing a few too. How many? Read and review to find out.

I'm also planning to end this story after the 7th chapter. After that, there might be a sequel, who knows? Of course, you don't have to decide now. You can decide later if you want. Either PM me, or mention it in the review, if you want a sequel. It's likely that it'll come out in October 2010. So watch this space!


	5. A letter of apology

-1Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

A letter of apology

Hi.

About a month or two ago, I started Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up (or DotDftNU as I dub it). About a couple of hours after I submitted it, I got a review. As the chapters went on, the time between submitting and reviewing got longer, and I probably got a review AFTER Halloween. Sadly to say, I've decided to discontinue this story. You missed the kids killing zombies, and the Eds using Disney crap to restore Peach creek back to normal.

It's no one's fault that this story ended later than it was supposed to. I was hoping to finish it after Halloween, with them defeating the zombies on 31st October, an the epilogue sometime afterwards. But no, I had to wait until mid-November for someone to review.

Once again I'm sorry

elejamie


	6. Chapter 5: And Now for Something

Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Chapter 5: And Now For Something Completely Different...

A/N: Yes, it's back. I couldn't wait, so I decided to start it early. It will be continued from now on. No matter if anyone reviews it or not. Apologies to people who felt sad when this was discontinued, but you can feel happy again: It's returned. And Actionphoenix260 (or Captain Eddy as he was formally known as on the site), I will explain why Edd is feeling the way he is later on in the chapter. From now on, I'm not gonna wait for a review to pop up before writing the next chapter. If a month has passed with no review, I'll start the next chapter anyways, or continue it if it's set around a certain event.

Anyways, this is the chapter where the kids finally kill their first zombies. This excludes Sarah (who killed a zombie in the second chapter) and Rolf (who also killed a couple of zombies in the second chapter). Originally, Kevin wasn't going to kill any zombies (on purpose). But I threw this rule out of the window. He also kills someone who isn't a zombie

Oh, and some time after writing the fourth chapter, I found out that Erwin Rommel was a (very rare) Good Nazi. He didn't act like his brethren (which caused his possible execution, which Hitler covered up). So I'll just say this: Eddy killed Rommel's evil side, which was represented as a zombie. The trio will later meet his good side (as an angel) later on. Also, expect a few cameos from celebrities, and a few fellow cartoon characters from a fellow Cartoon Network show.

The sequel (Working title: DotDftNU II: London Calling) will be different. I won't need to set it around Halloween, so I can write it any time I want. It will still be M-rated, and the trio will end up killing Nazis. Again. All I'm gonna tell you is this: It will be set in London, where Edd lived for the first five years of his life before moving to the US. Just because I made Edd British doesn't mean that he is in the show. Now, let's rejoin the action...

Kevin was just lying there, with his head facing the floor, coughing up blood. Jonny had been restrained, having been tied to a tree for what he had done to Kevin. Plank was tied up too. But he was on a different tree, far away from Jonny. Then suddenly, Plank managed to get himself free. But no one cared, as they were looking away at the time. He hovered, and managed to liberate Jonny. "Thanks buddy." The hippy thanked the chunk of termite food, as Eddy would dub him.

Jimmy then returned with a small, red wagon. "It might be small," He began. "But if it can stand Kevin's weight, it should help him get to the hospital."

"Thanks, Fluffy." Kevin moaned, as he was slowly gaining consciousness.

Rolf lifted his injured friend onto the wagon. It was able to hold the jock. Jimmy, surprisingly, was able to pull it. This is weird, considering that he once got injured by a clothes peg. But, then again, Jimmy was getting stronger, considering he had starting lifting weights. To be honest, he was doing the SpongeBob method: Don't lift regular weights, lift soft toys instead. But he is still weak, that's all it matters.

Five minutes later, he had to stop. There were two reasons. First, he was out of breath, and his fingers were becoming numb. And the second one is because there is a zombie in the way. But Nazz sorted it out. She shot the gun repeatedly between the zombie's eyes and it died. The bad news is that it's now out of bullets. Since Kevin didn't have any one him (he assumed that it would be one shot to kill), and there weren't any at his house, the blonde threw the weapon away. If you all know your shooters, you might know that there could be some ammo later on.

The gunshot just attracted more zombies. But then, Jimmy had a brainwave. He pushed the wagon (with Kevin on it) down the hill, in an attempt to kill more zombies, and to get Kevin to the hospital quicker. Sadly, that plan was half-right. Sure, it got Kevin to the hospital quicker, but it didn't kill many zombies.

The wagon didn't slow down. It just gained momentum. It also sliced off a couple of zombies legs. But they didn't die. You have to destroy the head for it to die. The wagon then hit a small wall, which caused the jock to fly. He then smashed into the hospital via flying through a glass window. But he did manage to kill a zombie. Whilst he was flying, he flew so fast, it severed a zombie's head, and it fell off.

"Whoa." Sarah said in astonishment. "Should we get him?"

"Maybe later." Jimmy replied, crossing his arms. "Meanwhile, we should consider getting help."

"Rolf has an idea." Rolf said, pointing his finger up into the air. But it was dismissed.

"Well, let's go to the hospital anyway." Nazz said, walking off.

"Good idea." Everyone (except Rolf, who was mad that his idea was dismissed) agreed, following her.

"Coming Rolf?" Jonny yelled, waving one hand up in the air.

"Yeah, yeah. Rolf will come." The son of a shepherd followed, refusing to look at them, and walking very slowly.

A few miles up the road, Rolf actually managed to keep up with the kids. He felt that his idea was bad anyways. Besides, the idea was to sacrifice Nazz. Again. "Rolf is ready to kick some zombie arse!" He said, joyously. And yes, I did use "arse". Remember that Rolf is European, so he couldn't understand the concept of "ass".

But then! A congregation of zombies appeared. Rolf, pushing back the rest of the kids, reached out for his cane and smashed their skulls in. "He's good, isn't he, Plank?" Jonny told his wooden friend.

A minute or so later, Rolf returned to the small group. "Rolf has liberated you from all your troubles." He waved his cane in the air. "You may pass." He bowed.

Later, Kevin returned, showing no signs of bruising, or injuries. "Wassup?" He greeted, flicking the brim of his cap to his eyes.

"Kevin!" Nazz yelled, embracing the jock. But it wasn't a romantic embrace, but rather a simple greeting.

The group, now led by Kevin, resumed walking. They eventually managed to reach the city centre. It was nothing more than a war zone. Windows were smashed; dead [human] bodies were littered all over; and there were two zombies feasting on the flesh of a civilian. However, it wasn't that bad. There was a pistol located next to the body of a police officer (who was shot just before he could turn into a zombie). And there was another pistol, of the same make, dropped on the floor. Both still had a full magazine. The jock then picked both weapons up, and proclaimed "I'm ready."

Then both zombies, who were enjoying a nice piece of human, lurched towards Kevin. Skilfully, he shot them both in the head, causing them both to die. And go out in the usual manner. However, there was another person dressed as a zombie. "Kevin, a zombie!" Jimmy warned Kevin.

The jock nodded, and then swerved his guns towards the zombies. It turned out to be Lady Gaga. But was the person a zombie? It didn't matter anyway, because Kevin shot her. "If she is a zombie, she'd disappear within five seconds." Kevin set out the guidelines.

But five minutes later, it was just the same: The corpse of a person who dressed ridiculously. "Oh, shit!" Kevin said, feeling a mixture of anger and fear. "Still better check to see if this is a chick with a dick or not. Remember our bet, Rolf?"

"Yah!" Rolf recounted what the bet was. "If that Lady Gaga watchamahoodickey has female genitalia only, you give me five of your American currency."

"And if she has a cock, you owe me $5." Kevin concluded. "Well, here goes." He managed to pull down a skirt which revealed a 2 and a half foot penis. "I win! But what's this?" He also found a vagina. Of course, if this was on the television, we wouldn't see what she has down there. "Oh, yeah!" Kevin celebrated as Rolf slipped him $5 (or £3.45 at the time that this chapter was written).

Suddenly, a portal appeared. A tall skeleton figure appeared, clad in a black robe, and sporting a scythe, walked out, accompanied by two children, one of which was blonde and had no nose, the other wore a baseball cap, but had a huge nose. It was none other than Grim, Billy and Mandy from the show 'The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy'. "OK, let's see who we have here." Grim was checking off a list. "It's Lady Gaga." He then looked at the ominous bulge.

"I believe you owe me ten bucks." Mandy said emotionlessly. The reaper then passed Mandy a $10 bill.

"Wat'cha gonna do with it? Huh? Huh? Huh?" Billy pestered the girl before she hit him in the head, causing his nose to flip upside down.

"I'll decide when I get to Endsville." She clicked her fingers, and disappeared back into the portal, followed the other two. As Grim entered the portal, it closed, sealing off the Ed, Edd n Eddy universe from the Billy and Mandy universe.

"That was weird..." Sarah stood there in awe. But that doesn't matter, anyway because the zombies were heading towards them, from all directions.

"We're trapped!" Nazz was scared. But, despite being petrified, she managed to slap Rolf, just in case he tried to sacrifice her again. That's now becoming a running gag.

"Angels sang out in immaculate chorus." The singer from Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny sang, just as a figure came down from the sky. "Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris." The figure turned out to be Chuck Norris, dressed in his Walker, Texas Ranger clothes.

He then preceded to roundhouse the zombies into oblivion. A zombie even tried to bite him. But when it did, it disintegrated into ashes, which were then blown into the wind. A good two minutes later, all of the zombies in the vicinity were exterminated. Chuck then flew into the clouds. But not before he told the kids, who were still in awe over Grim, Billy and Mandy's appearance "You all have one wish left..."

"Damn, this city's getting weirder." Jonny rubbed his eyes, which wasn't that easy, considering that he was wearing his watermelon helmet. He didn't say it in a stereotypical blaxploitation-esque voice, but rather in his normal voice. He then preceded to whack a zombie over the head with Plank.

And then the zombies that Jimmy tried to kill earlier returned, with pretty fucked-up legs. But it didn't worry him none. He sprayed some of his perfume (that's what she said!) into their face. They sneezed violently, but none of their snot came close to the kids. Then, their faces swelled to an enormous size. "Oh crap." One of them said before trying to retreat to a safe distance.

The kids screamed in unison "Run!" before they get covered with zombie fluids, which could see them becoming zombies. They hid behind a derelict building before the zombies' heads exploding, leaving a 2 metre radius of blood, and other fluids. Disgusting, I know.

Meanwhile, we rejoin the Eds, who were still on their voyage in order to end this once and for all. Ed had some blood on his metal pole, probably caused by beating another zombie to death; Edd was covered in blood, and, in fact, left a trail of blood; and Eddy was clean, mainly because he didn't resort to close combat (and with guns, he wouldn't need to). "Well, that was refreshing." The genius mused.

"Who knew Rommel turned out to be a nice guy?" Eddy realised. "He led us to our destination." He pointed to a small speck in the distance.

"And I finally managed to kill Christina Aguilera!" Ed was happy. "I hope Sarah doesn't mind."

"Forget her!" Eddy reassured the yellow simpleton. "She's now zombie chow!" But this actually infuriated Ed. He hit Eddy on the head with the pole, but, before Ed killed the short megalomaniac, Edd stopped him.

"Careful I don't shoot you." Eddy warned. "Now, let's get a move on! I want my candy!" As he walked off, the other two shrugged and followed.

A/N: Again, any apologies for the lateness (and also earliness) of this story. Late because it was supposed to be done by November. Ish. And early because I was due to start these in August.

Anyways, I know that it's not much of an ending. But it'll do. Because the next chapter will be the Eds stopping the zombie invasion, and after that will be the epilogue. But what will happen EXACTLY? We may never know. OK, I gave what'll happen away, but not every single quote, and every single action. So it's alright.

Anyways, read and review (though knowing some of you, it won't happen much), and maybe I'll get started on the next chapter a little early too... And maybe the sequel will be a little bit earlier than expected (but set at the same time).

Oh, and also the guy who sang Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny is Neil Cicierga, who is best known as the Potter Puppet Pals fella. In the sequel, Chuck Norris will be replaced by someone else, but they will still have the same entrance and exit (but a different theme tune).


	7. Chapter 6: Now can we end this?

Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Chapter 6: Now can we end this?

Disclaimer: Ed, Edd n Eddy is Danny Antonucci's property. Also, I will be including a character from the Madness Combat series, which is owned by Matt Jolly, otherwise known as 'Krinkels'. Want to know who it is? Read on. But the only clue you're getting is that it's not Hank.

A/N: Here we are: The pen-ultimate chapter of this tale of Ed, Edd n Eddy, and zombies. It's taken nearly a year, but it's here. Hey, that rhymed! Anyways, the Eds find out what is causing the zombie invasion, and they destroy it once and for all. And expect a mockery of Disney musicians (and how crap they are), and, for real, why Edd is acting the way he is. Sorry I didn't tell you why in the last chapter, but I forgot about it. So here we go.

And a final warning: This chapter does contain text-speak, so do watch out. Don't flame me about this, read this warning first.

The trio are now standing in a field. Except this wasn't any ordinary field. It had a huge obelisk in the middle of it, with some sort of alien language, which looks like a mixture of hieroglyphics and Chinese, and not only was it glowing a very deep shade of red, but also there as a purple ball of lightning emitting from the top. It looked extremely solid and well built. It was so well built in fact, that not even the world's most powerful explosives can obliterate it. It was also a good idea not to touch it, because your head would explode and you'd die, or you'd become a zombie.

"Now how are we supposed to get that thing down?" Eddy was angry, as he gazed at the obelisk. Ed was running to touch it, but Eddy pulled him back, with Edd's help.

"Aww, c'mon!" Ed was trying to find his Bill Kaulitz wig, which had flown off.

"No. You'd die." Edd warned the yellow simpleton. "By the way, it's over there." He pointed to a small plot of grass, which was where a zombie had been, because Eddy had shot it, as evidenced by a blood stain.

Ed promptly walked over where it was and put it back on. He put it on the way it was before it got blown off. Luckily, there wasn't any zombie blood on it. He picked up his metal pole, and threw it at the obelisk, like a spear. But, when the pole touched the obelisk, it exploded. The pole that is. Otherwise this would be a short chapter. "Duck!" Edd warned as the fragments flew towards the Eds.

"Quack!" Ed said as he ducked. The metal shards flew over their head, and stabbed a zombie in the back. He fell over backwards and died. And, five seconds later, the body disappeared in a flame. The Eds looked back at what happened. "Cool." The yellow simpleton raised an eyebrow.

"I have an idea!" Edd pointed his finger up into the air.

"What is it?" Eddy was curious.

"Ed." Edd handed Ed a sword. "Go to my house, and get my CD player. Then go to your house, and get some of your sister's CDs. Then come back here." He explained as simply as he can. Normally, he'd use long and complicated words, but this time he didn't.

"But what's with the sword?" Eddy questioned.

"I handed him the sword to kill zombies, Eddy." Edd explained, still explaining it as simply as he can.

"Oh, right." Eddy waved as Ed sped off.

"Don't run with sharp objects!" Edd yelled. Just as Ed was a speck in the horizon, Edd realised that Ed, with a sword, was a bad idea. "Wait, hold up!" He started to run after the yellow simpleton, but not before pressing a button, turning his chainsaw back into a box.

Meanwhile, outside of the field, there was a congregation of zombies. No matter, because Ed hacked and slashed them. "He doesn't need to worry." Ed said to the camera. "I've used swords before, and I am careful." But still, Edd chased him.

In town, the kids were cowering behind some overturned benches, because a mass army of zombies are advancing towards them. Kevin ran out of ammo, Rolf was elsewhere, and they ran out of Chuck Norris wishes. But, just then, Ed appeared out of the distance. Like a conductor waves their stick, Ed sliced the zombies. He accidentally forgot about one. But it's OK.

Because, out of nowhere, Rolf leapt out of a window, clutching his cane. "Americans, cover your eyes." He warned, as he was gaining towards the zombie. They kids complied, and ducked underneath the bench. Then, Rolf's cane impaled itself through the zombie. Blood spurted out from all directions, including where they eyes were. I know, disgusting. But the amazing thing is that Rolf didn't even get covered in blood.

"How did you do that?" Kevin wondered.

"Rolf doesn't know..." Rolf himself was unsure.

Meanwhile, back with Ed, he finally managed to reach the cul-de-sac. It looked virtually like a war zone. There were broken windows, smashed doors, glass everywhere, and even one of the chimneys crumbled onto the street. It looked like the Kankers had been here, but they weren't there. Edd had killed all three of them earlier, if anyone remembers. He entered Edd's house, by breaking down the front door. Over the years, he has managed to be more intelligent, but he's still an idiot. He then entered the living room floor and picked up a boombox, kinda like the ones you find in 80's films. But just as he picked it up, there were zombies heading towards him. "Go time." He said, in a cool voice, whilst picking up his sword.

"CHARGE!" The zombies moaned as they advanced towards our yellow simpleton. Ed held onto the boombox and swung it wildly, smashing one zombie in the face, killing it. So that he didn't break it, he switched to his sword. He decapitated many zombies, even going as far as cutting off their limbs.

But then, he was overcrowded. He was trying to grab one zombie with one arm, whilst killing some more. Just then, he heard the roar of a chainsaw, as well as the sound of bodily parts being cut off, and the sound of bodies hitting the floor. Edd was here. "Hey Double D!" Ed greeted his friend.

"I thought that you might've wanted some assistance in exterminating these undead creatures." Edd reverted back to speaking long and complicated words.

"No, but you can help me kill these zombies." Ed didn't understand a word of what Edd said.

Edd shrugged, and cut a zombie in half with his chainsaw. Blood went over the walls, and the scene was so violent, lamps started to shatter. After 2 minutes, Ed and Edd managed to exit the house, with the latter carrying the boombox. "What will Mother and Father think when they see this abomination?" He was referring to the mess inside the house. What was once a living room was now a site full of broken glass and blood.

"We can always hide it." Ed stupidly suggested.

"I'll do it in the morning. They're not back until 2nd November, anyway." Edd, strangely, procrastinated.

The two went to Ed's house. Though it was like the other houses, it was still neater. There was still some broken glass and pieces of wood on the floor, and everything look displaced. But it was much neater than the other houses. Especially Edd's house, as it was a bombsite after the zombies tried to get them. "I'll find the CDs, you keep guard." Ed instructed Edd, which was slightly out of character. But still, Edd did what he was told.

The yellow Ed headed towards Sarah's room. The bedroom door had a small hole in it, thus tearing the poster that was on her door. And when I say small, I actually mean that half the door was missing. No matter, because Ed still managed to get in and rummage around her drawers. He selected the albums he disliked the most, most of which were Disney artists. He then walked out of the room, clutching the CDs on one arm, whilst holding his sword in the other. Two zombies were behind him, but Ed still managed to kill them, by stabbing them in the head. Yes, it's possible, but don't ask me how.

Downstairs, Edd was just sitting there, but the boombox wasn't with him. "Where is it?" He asked.

"I've hidden your compact disc player inside here." Edd pointed to his hat, revealing it to be like a magic satchel. Kinda like the King of Town's grill, for any fellow Homestar Runner fans.

"Oh, OK." The two walked out of Ed's house, and to the obelisk.

"Hold on." Edd walked away to his house, and into his bathroom. He opened a cabinet that had a shamed mirror on the front. He took out a box of medicine, and took out a pill. It was Ritalin. This was to make Edd calm down, as he had many anger problems after being friends with Ed and Eddy for so long. He didn't have ADHD, or ADD, but rather he went a bit insane after Ed and Eddy pushed him on the edge for too long. So he was prescribed Ritalin.

Ed just ran off, with sword and CDs held firmly. When he was back downtown, the kids were just standing around. There weren't many zombies to kill, and it looked like the battle, and maybe the war, had been won. But, as Ed was running along, Sarah noticed that Ed had stolen some of her CDs. "You get back her, mister!" She growled.

"RUN AWAY!" Ed yelled as he sped off quicker, his legs going like Sonic. Just as Sarah managed to leap onto him, he ran quicker, thus causing her to hit the floor. There was no blood, but there were a few bruises. No panic, because the poor continuity would catch up, and make her face back to normal. But whilst she was down, Edd was running, gripping his hat very tightly.

When the two arrived back, there was a pile, about 5 bodies high, in front of Eddy. He had shot them with a revolver, the same one used by Dirty Harry. A second later, the bodies disappeared, one by one, in a flame. "What kept ya?" Eddy was impatient.

"Sorry," Edd was slightly calmer. This meant the Ritalin was taking control, and Edd became less bloodthirsty. "We got... caught up."

"Have ya got the CD player and CDs?" Eddy was rubbing his hands in a mixture of glee and anticipation. Ed put the CDs on the ground, and Edd pulled the boombox out from under his hat, and put it on the ground. "What CDs are there?"

"Jonas Brothers." Edd began, whilst Eddy shuddered. "Hannah Montana." Eddy shuddered again. "Demi Lovato."

Eddy shuddered even more, as if he was about to have a seizure. "No more! No more!" He begged.

"But don't worry, there is good news." Edd shows the short megalomaniac a copy of Meat Is Murder, an album by The Smiths. It was actually his dad's, but it was found in Sarah's room. But, since Eddy wasn't familiar with that type of music, he didn't react.

Edd the pulled a screwdriver out from underneath his hat, and tweaked with the boombox. After the tweaking, it can now play three songs at the same time, as opposed to the one. Even though the Jonas Brothers would be able to destroy the obelisk because they're so crap, the Eds just wanted to make sure. After much delay, of 10 or 20 seconds, Ed put 3 CDs in: One Jonas Brothers; one Hannah Montana; the other Demi Lovato. He then pressed play, and, just before the opening songs were about to be played, they hid under Edd's hat.

Then, the songs began to play. Luckily, all three Eds were wearing earmuffs, which would block out the sound. But, outside the hat, cracks were starting to show in the obelisk. The ominous glow began to fade, and the lightning ball on top was starting to recede. The cracks developed so quickly, that, before the chorus, the boombox was destroyed by the crumbling obelisk, along with the three CDs.

Then, the rumbling stopped. The trio took off their earmuffs, and Ed and Eddy got out of Edd's hat. Edd held onto his hat, obviously. The Eds stood at the rubble that was once an obelisk. "Oh!" Ed noticed that the boombox, along with the CDs, were destroyed by the rubble.

Suddenly, there was a rumbling from below. Breaking out from underground was a weird clown, with orange clown hair; green skin; a broken metal face mask; a light-grey shirt, green hands; and dark-grey shoes. It was no other than Tricky, the clown from the Madness series. On screen, the letters '_OMFG U DESTROYED THING!_' appeared (because that's how Madness characters 'speak', if you can call it that), which confused the Eds.

Edd just walked up to it, activated his chainsaw, and cut the clown into pieces. Very calmly, in fact, as if he was Mr. Blonde of Reservoir Dogs fame. But, to make sure, Eddy shot the individual pieces. The earth shook, as the pieces went back to Hell. One by one, all over the city, zombies were dropping dead. They hadn't been killed in the normal convention, but they were dying nonetheless. However, there was one zombie left: A re-zombified May Kanker. Ed knocked her to the ground, and stabbed the ground beside her. He then tilted the sword towards her neck, thus severing the jugular vein, as if he was cutting a vegetable.

The earth then shook even more violently, and cracks started to appear in the ground. Beams of light appeared in the ground. The Eds shielded their eyes, to avoid going blind. Then, it went really bright...

A/N: I've finally finished this chapter. It's probably my longest one too. Sorry if I seem very informal and conversational here, and using words like "Kinda". But I had to add in filler. Also, I apologise for including brackets when they're not needed. Apologies to Krinkles if, in the unlikely event, he reads this and sues me because I didn't ask him if I could use one of his characters (then again, this is unlikely as people have made their own Madness animations, and he hasn't pressed charges). No apologies, however, to any Disney fans who complain because I used their music as a weapon. Listen to some real music, unlike that manufactured crap you listen to.

Anyways, what do you think would happen in the next (and last chapter)? Would the Eds try and get back home from where they end up? Or does nothing happen and I just end it abruptly? Who knows? We'll find out before next month, hopefully. So, in the meantime, read and review. So I can know what you want in the next chapter.

By the way, in this chapter, I was originally gonna say that Edd was bipolar. But, because there wasn't enough proof in the show, plus I don't think that Edd killing a load of zombies could be caused by a manic episode, and people would complain about there not being enough proof, so I scrapped that idea. But I still believe that he is bipolar, because he rarely sees his parents; Ed and Eddy annoy him constantly to the point of insanity; and him being depressed at the end of My Fair Ed, could seem like a bout of depression, caused by the eponymous disease itself, or anything else like that.


	8. Chapter 7: Epiclogue

elDawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Chapter 7: Epic-logue

A/N: This is the conclusion of DotDftNU. The events of this chapter take place on November 1st, the day after 31st October (obviously), and everyone was wondering what the hell was going on. There will be a final kill count at the end of the chapter, which will include the Eds'; the Kids'; the zombies; and other peoples' kills. OK, everything clear? Let's finish this!

Edd was asleep in his bed, still wearing his clothes from the night before. His room was restored back to normal, along with the rest of his house, and the cul-de-sac. The box chainsaw was in the attic, hidden along some other crap. Two or three seconds later, his alarm clock went off. He pushed the snooze button and got up. He stripped out of his clothes, and put on a towel and shower cap, then head towards the bedroom.

Ed was sleeping as if he was having a hangover. His right arm and right leg was dangling out of the bed, and his face was partially obscured by his pillow. Knowing Ed, he had no alarm clock, because he probably ate it, thinking that it would turn it off. His alarm clock them went off, and he stuck his hand down his throat to turn it off. He got changed, because he STILL doesn't know how cleanliness is important.

Eddy was already up, but he was groggy. He shuffled towards the bathroom, wearing a gown. Just as he was going into the shower, he looked in the mirror. Not only did he have bags, but also, there was a weird black hair on the bottom of his chin. Eddy was growing a beard! But, before he could notice it, he got a pair of scissors, and cut the hair off. Then he went into the shower, and turned it on.

The three then met outside Eddy's house to prepare for a scam. "How about an En-O-Gee drinks scam?" Ed stupidly asked, not knowing it had been previously done.

"We've already done that, you stupid fuck!" Eddy slapped Ed, which was probably out of character for him. It's staying in this story, so don't complain!

"Why does it have to be a scam?" Edd curiously asked, but was ignored.

"We could always..." Eddy paused briefly to think. But he forgot it. "... Nah."

Just as they were coming up to something, Kevin walked out to the Eds. "So what are you dorks doing?" He sneered. Shrugging, Eddy just picked up a rock and threw it at Kevin, hitting the jock in the eye. "I'll get you dorks later." He said, rubbing his eye as he walked back into his house.

"Ooh!" Ed came up with a good idea. "We could write about how to survive a zombie invasion!"

"Nah, we'll save that for an Ed and Eddy do." Eddy brushed away the idea. But he still thought it was good enough for their show.

"Hmm..." Edd pondered in thought. "My brain ceased to help you with your fraudulent schemes."

Ed and Eddy stared blankly at the genius until Ed said something stupid. "Red tastes like green!" At which point, Eddy whacked the yellow simpleton round the back of the head with a shovel.

"Shut up." Eddy told Ed, who was lying on the floor.

"So, what do you propose we do?" Edd tried to scoop Ed off the floor, to no success.

Eddy aused for a moment, and then he sighed. "You know, we'll scam later."

Just then, Ed walked into view, with something in his mouth. "What's that in your mouth?" Edd questioned, as he was suspicious?

"Jawbreaker. Want one?" He offered Eddy a jawbreaker, which the megalomaniac snatched from the yellow simpleton's hands, and Edd, who was still suspicious.

"Where did you get that jawbreaker?" Edd was holding onto

"Kevin." Ed replied, pointing to an Ed-shaped hole in Kevin's garage.

"Edward!" Edd shouted, obviously very angry. "Put that back where you found it." Rather than face Edd complain for another half-an-hour, Eddy simply shoved the jawbreaker into the genius' mouth, who then acted as if he was having a seizure.

"Hey, dorks!" Kevin leant out of his window. "Come back here, so I can pound you!"

The Eds then ran off, whilst Kevin was giving chase. "Help me, Danny!" Ed prayed. Just then, his prayers were answered. A huge fist came out of the heavens and landed on Kevin. Attached to the fist was an arm. It was Danny Antonucci, the creator. "Thank you!" Ed gave the thumbs up.

"No problem." Danny gave Ed a thumbs-up back, before lifting his fist. He got Kevin off his fist, as if he were Velcro, and put him back down on the ground.

Just one question, Danny." Eddy said, pointing his finger in the air.

"Go on, my son." Danny told him to continue, as if he was a god. Which, in the Ed, Edd n Eddy universe, he probably is.

"Where were you when the zombies invaded?" Eddy wanted an explanation.

"Simple." The creator replied. "No one asked for my help."

"But why the zombies?" Eddy wanted more answers.

"Don't know." Danny presumably shrugged. "Maybe I was bored. But let me tell you this: you did better than the Powerpuff Girls."

Eddy rolled around on the pavement laughing. "Serves them right for ruining our 10th anniversary!"

"Are they alright?" Edd asked.

"Well, Bubbles has become zombified, which means the other two are outnumbered." Danny still explained. "And, obviously, the Kids Next Door are in a treehouse, which means that it's virtually impossible for a zombie to get up there. Furthermore, they've got high-tech equipment, so they're doing fine."

The Eds celebrated, as they headed into Eddy's house, still trying to come up with a scam. But that does seem quite pointless, seeing as they have those jawbreakers from Kevin's garage. "Tell Numbuh One I saud 'Hello'." Edd reminded Danny.

"Will do." Danny lifted his arm into the heavens. He then casted a thunderbolt, which reanimated the jock, and took him out of his coma.

"What happen? They set us up the bomb?" Kevin lost a little bit of his brain, so he could only speak as if he was in Zero Wing. "Is all our base are belong to CATS?"

"Whoops." Danny clicked his fingers, and Kevin returned to normal.

"Dorks." Kevin gave up his hunt, and went home, and tried to fix his garage door before his parents came back.

At Edd's bunker, which is actually the fake bush he created in Ed and Seek, the Eds were eating the jawbreakers. "So was Danny serious when he said that the other cartoons had similar zombie problems?" Edd pondered.

"Who cares?" Eddy butted in. "It was probably a dream." He then lifted another jawbreaker into his mouth, even though he was still eating one.

"Oh, really?" Edd was sceptical. "I definitely remember using a chainsaw to execute some zombies."

"Prove it."

Edd then reached out of his hat, and pulled out a portal gun (the very same one used in Portal). He then shot out a portal, and jumped into it, and Ed and eddy followed suit. The duo then landed in Edd's attic, close behind the genius. "If it wasn't a dream, then this wouldn't be bloody." Edd held up the box for all to see.

He then pushed the button to activate the chainsaw. And, to be anti-climactic, it was clean. No blood on it, whatsoever. How this was possible is unknown, so don't bother wanting to know why. "Told ya." Eddy said.

"Maybe it was all a dream. But I remember it as if it wasn't one." Edd was going all philosophical. "Could it be that we entered an altenative universe, where dreams become reality."

As he rambled on, Eddy whispered to Ed "Let's get out of here."

"Right behind you, Eddy!" Ed yelled, before Eddy shushed him.

Eddy picked up the portal gun, and walked back into the portal, all without Edd noticing. Ed soon followed. When they arrived in the fake bush, Eddy opened a hatch, which fired a portal that hit a wall. The megalomaniac then fired another portal, which landed below the first portal. "Jawbreakers!" Eddy got a manic look in his eye as he picked up a jawbreaker to eat.

We then go to the field where the obelisk one stood. There, we find some rubble, and a piece of mask, which explained that it wasn't a dream after all. It did actually happen. It was all reality. But the Eds were oblivious to that, probably because Ed was dim, Edd became philosophical, and Eddy was sceptical.

A/N: There we go. This crapshack is finished. Not much of an ending, I know. And I know it does conflict with what happened earlier on. So shut the fuck up, alright? I couldn't fit anyone's demands because they never fucking told me to. Apart from to not retire, which I will after the sequel to this story is up.

Anyways, in the sequel, the opening chapter will not contain the Eds. BUT! That doesn't mean that they won't be appearing later on. It's to build up suspense, or because what I fucking think goes. And later on in a different chapter, the Eds will have a cameo. But, apart from those two chapters, it will be only the Eds, some survivors, and zombies.

Furthermore, sorry about the swearing in this author's note, I was undergoing a state of depression. It's unrelated to the story, so no need for anything related to that. But still, reviews will be helpful, whether it be what I should've done differently, or what you liked about it (if anything).

Anyways, you might be wondering: "Why call it "dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up"?" the answer is: I didn't want to go for a cliché title like "Dawn of the Eds" (because that would've already been taken), plus I decided to mix an Ed quote into it ("I am dead from the neck up"). There we go, so you don't bother asking me why the title is called that.


	9. Kill Count

Dawn of the Dead from the Neck Up

Kill Count

Edd: I dunno. It's probably less than 200, but more than 150.

Ed: 57 (including the time when he tried to get the boombox)

Eddy: 14 (including the time when he was waiting for Ed and Edd to return with the boombox)

Kevin: 6 (Including Lady Gaga, and a few other zombies)

Rolf: 7 (2 when they tried to steal Rolf's animals, one when he impaled it with his cane, and 4 more later)

Nazz: 1 (when she killed that zombie, but wasted all the bullets)

Sarah: 8 (including the second chapter when she tried to defend Jimmy from being eaten)

Jimmy: 5 (in one of the chapters, he sprays perfume, which causes the zombies' heads to explode)

Jonny: 6 (Alright, I'm making this up. Because I'm too lazy to go back and count. Furthermore, Plank is included with Jonny, because he was used as a weapon)

Kankers: Unknown (all we know is, they got killed in the second chapter. But they will return in the sequel, so no worries)

Zombies: Countless (victims include Kankers, police officers, the Powerpuff Girls, and my OC Gary)

Gary: 13 (before his death off-screen. I fancied killing him off, OK?)

A/N: I was to add this on at the end of the last chapter. But, due to forgetting it, I didn't. So, instead, I made it a new chapter.

Not all of those numbers are correct, because I made them up on the spot. If you want to correct me, either send a private message, or just write it in a review. And this is about it. Hope you've enjoyed this tale. Good-nigh!


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